Day 5 of 135 - The Biggest Loser

Last night, I had a dream that I was actually running the 1/2. I was going down the canyon and it was so easy for me to run. I really hope that I will feel that way on May 15th. It made me so excited yet it has made me a little apprehensive. I have been thinking that I REALLY don't know what I've gotten myself into. It might be one thing to be thin and train for this, but to be as heavy as I am and want to do this? I think I will have to claim temporary insanity.

Then tonight I watched the Biggest Loser...GO TONGANS!!!! (Ofa atu!) As I was watching all of the contestants share their weight with their friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and listening to Jillian and Bob tell them that this was the first couragous thing they had to do, it made me re-think my decision to not tell my weight. So I'm going to tell you my fellow readers because I think it's important that I make that step so that I can start my recovery process. Ok, here goes... I weigh 275 pounds. My highest weight reached 300 pounds, a number I had hoped I would never see. The lowest I have been during the past 6 months is 266, so I am back up 9 lbs. On the positive side, I'm still down 25. I really can't believe I'm putting this out there and hopefully there aren't a lot of you to read this, but I felt it needed to be done. This is the only way I can be real with myself and make the change that I need to.

So now the good news...I did Week 4 Day 1 of C25K and it was tough. I didn't think it was something I could do. I've been worried about it for 2 weeks. You have to run 3 minutes (which I have been barely able to do), walk 90 seconds, run 5 minutes, walk 2 1/2 minutes, run 3 minutes, walk 90 seconds, run 5 minutes with a warm-up and a cooldown. I can't believe it, but I did it. The last 5 minute run was so hard mentally to do. I didn't even want to start it. I kept thinking, "people that read the blog will understand if this is all I can do." But then I told myself that I COULD do it. It was only 5 minutes and if you watched last season's Biggest Loser, I always try to think of Shay and how she was 400 pounds running and if she could do it, then I can do it. I have to do a lot of talking out loud to myself especially in the last minute, but I did it! I am very proud of myself for not giving up and it felt SOOOO good when I was finished. I think it was the most I have perspired in a long time, and I get to do it all again tomorrow!